Have you ever pondered the question of your purpose in life? It’s a profound inquiry, perhaps the most crucial one we can ask ourselves. While it may not be a daily thought, understanding your purpose is fundamental to a meaningful existence. Whether you believe you’ve already identified your life’s purpose or are still searching, the insights from Simon Sinek’s book “Find Your Why” and its companion, “Start With Why,” can be invaluable. These books offer a clear path to articulating and understanding your personal ‘Why.’ They certainly did for me.
This article delves into the core concepts of “Find Your Why,” offering a comprehensive guide to help you embark on your own journey of self-discovery. If you are familiar with “Start With Why,” the principles and exercises in “Find Your Why” will resonate deeply. For those who own “Find Your Why” but haven’t read “Start With Why,” it’s highly recommended to explore “Start With Why” first, as “Find Your Why” serves as a practical workbook to complement the foundational concepts introduced in the original book.
Start With Why: A Primer
“When we align emotionally with our customers and clients, our connection is much stronger and more meaningful than any affiliation based on features and benefits.”
“Find Your Why” begins with a concise recap of the essential ideas from “Start With Why.” However, to truly grasp the significance of prioritizing ‘why’ in all aspects of life, reading “Start With Why” is essential.
The concept of ‘Why’ revolves around the Golden Circle, a model illustrating that individuals and organizations should prioritize their reason for existence—their ‘Why’—above all else, even their products or services.
There’s a biological basis to the Golden Circle, as Sinek explains. The neocortex, responsible for rational thought and language, governs the ‘What’ we do. The limbic brain, on the other hand, drives feelings like trust and loyalty—the source of our ‘gut feelings.’ This limbic brain is where our ‘Why’ and ‘How’ originate, yet it lacks the capacity for language.
This neurological distinction clarifies why articulating why we love someone can be challenging—it simply ‘feels’ right.
As “Find Your Why” emphasizes, understanding your ‘Why’ is fundamental to personal growth and fulfillment. It’s akin to finding your unique puzzle piece. Knowing your ‘Why’ enables you to identify compatible partners, companies, and even friendships where you truly fit and can contribute meaningfully.
Key Takeaway #1: Grasping the concept of ‘Why’ is the initial step towards recognizing your place in the world and applying your talents effectively. Reflect on your relationships and assess if they align with your ‘Why.’ Before pursuing a new career, starting a business, or launching a blog, always begin by examining your ‘Why.’
If your ‘Why’ remains unclear, investing in both “Start With Why” and “Find Your Why” is a worthwhile first step.
Why Discovery Process for Individuals
“Leaders are the ones who have courage to go first and open a path for others to follow.”
This section is the heart of “Find Your Why,” guiding you through the practical steps to uncover your own ‘Why.’ The process designed by Simon Sinek, David Mead, and Peter Docker involves introspection and can feel deeply personal, akin to a guided self-discovery journey. While experiences with these steps vary, diligent adherence to the process promises to illuminate your ‘Why.’
The Why Discovery process consists of six key steps:
Step 1: Find a Suitable Partner
Choosing the right partner is crucial. Opt for someone you know reasonably well but not too intimately. Avoid immediate family or very close friends. A colleague or someone from a community group could be a good choice.
The ideal partner is someone you trust, respect their judgment, and believe possesses business acumen or insightful thinking. You’ll be sharing personal stories, so trust is paramount. Crucially, your partner should be capable of probing deeper and encouraging introspection.
The partner’s role is to actively listen, take notes, pose insightful questions to facilitate your storytelling, and identify recurring themes across your narratives. This objective perspective is invaluable in the Why Discovery process.
Step 2: Gather Stories and Share Them
This is where you narrate impactful stories from your life, and your partner asks questions to help you explore them in depth and recall others you might have overlooked. Choosing the right time and place for this session is essential.
Time: Dedicate several uninterrupted hours for both you and your partner, ideally in a single session.
Place: Select a quiet, private space free from distractions. You’ll be sharing personal stories, so comfort and privacy are important.
Before meeting, prepare the following:
-
Note impactful stories: Reflect on significant events from your life, both positive and negative, and jot down notes about them. Any story could hold clues to your ‘Why.’ Preparing notes will help you recall details during your sharing session and trigger memories of other relevant stories.
-
Consider impactful people: Reflect on individuals who have significantly influenced your life, positively or negatively, and prepare stories about them. These relationships often reveal aspects of our ‘Why.’
-
Partner Preparation: Ensure your partner reads the ‘Partner Section’ in “Find Your Why” (pages 43-53) beforehand to understand their role and how to guide the conversation effectively.
Step 3: Identify Themes
After sharing your stories, your partner analyzes their notes to identify recurring themes, words, phrases, and emotions.
You might wonder why only the partner reviews the notes. It’s because they offer a more objective viewpoint. Hearing your stories for the first time, they are less influenced by your personal biases, insecurities, or ego. Themes will often be more apparent to an objective listener.
Your partner will highlight these connecting themes. Your task is then to select the top two themes that resonate most strongly with you—the ones that feel most inspiring and authentic to your core self.
These two chosen themes will form the foundation of your Why Statement, while the remaining themes will contribute to defining your ‘Hows.’
Step 4: Draft and Refine a Why Statement
Formulating your Why Statement can be challenging, not emotionally, but in terms of clarity. You want your ‘Why’ to be concise, impactful, and easily understood by yourself and others.
The process of crafting your Why Statement may involve several iterations. It’s about refining the wording until it ‘feels’ absolutely right, resonating with your deepest sense of purpose. This may take time. Take as long as you need to refine your Why Statement until you are completely comfortable with it.
The Why Statement typically follows a structure (example provided in the book). The key is to ensure it authentically reflects your core purpose.
To validate your Why Statement, share it with trusted friends. Instead of directly revealing your ‘Why,’ ask them why they value your friendship. Their responses will often mirror your Why Statement, providing external validation. Repeat this with several people to gather consistent feedback.
Step 5: State Your Hows
‘Hows’ are the actions you naturally take when you are at your best to bring your ‘Why’ to life. Your ‘Hows’ define your unique approach and strengths.
The remaining themes identified by your partner in Step 3 are now used to define your ‘Hows.’ Select four or five themes that resonate and articulate them as statements that describe how you express your ‘Why.’ “Find Your Why” provides guidance on structuring these ‘How’ statements.
Defining ‘Hows’ is often less challenging than articulating the ‘Why’ Statement. It’s again guided by your intuition and ‘gut feeling.’ Your ‘Hows’ should complement and reinforce your ‘Why,’ creating a complete picture of your purpose and approach. Articulating your ‘Hows’ should bring a sense of clarity and empowerment, enabling you to ‘Live Your Why’ authentically.
Step 6: State Your Whats
Your ‘What’ is simply what you do—the products or services you offer, your job, your creative outputs.
For example, public speaking or writing this article could be considered ‘Whats.’ Your ‘What’ is the tangible expression of your ‘Why’ and ‘How.’
Key Takeaway #2: While many people may share a similar ‘Why,’ the unique expression of that ‘Why’ through individual ‘Hows’ makes each person’s purpose distinct. Sharing a ‘Why’ with others is not about competition but about recognizing a shared fundamental purpose expressed uniquely.
Why Discovery for Groups
“A team is not a group of people who work together. A team is a group of people who trust each other.”
The group Why Discovery process mirrors the individual process but is adapted for teams and organizations. Participants share personal stories related to their experiences within the company. These stories are then analyzed to identify shared themes, leading to the discovery of the organization’s collective ‘Why.’
While this article focuses primarily on individual Why Discovery, “Find Your Why” provides detailed guidance for facilitating group sessions. The power of a shared ‘Why’ can be transformative for companies, fostering strong values and resonating throughout the organization.
Key Takeaway #3: Even large groups can unite around a common purpose. A clearly defined company ‘Why’ strengthens values and empowers employees at all levels.
Why This Book Matters
“Find Your Why” is a thoughtfully crafted and valuable resource. While minor imperfections may exist, the book effectively achieves its goal: guiding readers to discover their ‘Why.’ It provided significant clarity in my own journey.
The book includes sections dedicated to partners facilitating individual Why Discovery and facilitators guiding group sessions, along with helpful appendices.
Partner Section: Offers clear guidance for partners, emphasizing active listening, insightful questioning, and recognizing unspoken emotions.
Facilitator Section: Provides direction for facilitators of group sessions, focusing on maintaining focus, managing time, and guiding a larger group through the discovery process.
Appendixes: Include FAQs addressing common questions about ‘Why’ statements, drawing on real examples from Simon Sinek’s team’s client work. These FAQs offer valuable insights and address potential points of confusion. Also includes Partner and Facilitator tips with example questions to adapt for different individuals and groups.
Final Thoughts
“Find Your Why” is undoubtedly a valuable tool for self-discovery. It is well-written, accessible, and offers practical strategies for uncovering your purpose.
If there’s one area for potential improvement, it might be the inclusion of more visual examples of the Why Discovery process in action and more diverse stories of individuals who have successfully used the method. While the book provides a framework, additional real-world examples could further enhance its impact and relatability.
Ultimately, “Find Your Why” encourages readers to not only discover their ‘Why’ but to ‘Live Your Why’ and ‘Share Your Why.’ It inspires us to help others embark on their own journeys of purpose discovery, contributing to a world where more people live lives aligned with their true ‘Why.’
Call To Action
If you found this exploration of “Find Your Why” valuable, please consider sharing it on your social networks.
If you haven’t yet discovered your ‘Why,’ I highly encourage you to invest in “Start With Why” and “Find Your Why.” These books offer a powerful framework for self-discovery and living a more purposeful life.
Finally, remember to share the insights you gain with those you care about. Helping others find their ‘Why’ is a meaningful way to contribute to a more purposeful world.
