Jeremiah 29:11 reassures us, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” For many, this verse offers comfort, yet understanding it deeply often requires more than just belief; it demands lived experience. Abstract faith transforms into powerful conviction when we witness these promises unfold in our own lives, especially when life takes an unexpected and challenging turn.
When Life Takes an Unforeseen Detour
“For affliction does not come from the dust, nor does trouble sprout from the ground.” (Job 5:6, ESV)
At the age of sixteen, life seemed perfectly aligned for success. Academically strong, athletically inclined in Judo, the future appeared bright and full of potential. However, this promising trajectory abruptly changed on April 20, 2010. Competing in the Judo semi-finals, tantalizingly close to a first gold medal, an awkward landing during an opponent’s attack resulted in a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
This single moment altered everything. A two-month coma followed, leading to significant muscle deterioration on top of the brain trauma. The combined impact was devastating, rendering me incapable of basic human functions. Nourishment became dependent on IV drips for hydration and feeding tubes for sustenance. My core strength vanished, leaving me unable to hold my head or body upright. Speech and movement were impossible. In an instant, a vibrant life was seemingly shattered.
The path to recovery and reintegration was arduous and filled with obstacles. The initial days of rehabilitation were a stark confrontation with my limitations. Reduced to a state of near helplessness, unable to speak or move, each morning brought a renewed sense of dread as I faced the reality of my broken body.
A year later, returning to secondary school in a wheelchair presented a new set of challenges. Weekly outpatient therapy sessions were just one part of the struggle. Concentration and focus during lessons were severely impaired due to diminished mental stamina and slow cognitive processing. It became painfully clear that the TBI had caused irreversible cognitive damage.
Despite taking a reduced course load of five subjects compared to my classmates’ nine, keeping up academically proved impossible. Repeated exam failures confirmed a difficult truth: I was no longer the high-achiever I once was.
Transitioning to polytechnic brought continued academic struggles and new social challenges. My delayed mental processes contributed to an awkwardness that made social integration difficult. Despite well-meaning consolation from others, a profound sense of isolation and self-dislike grew.
Yet, amidst all these hardships, the most profound struggle was grappling with God’s purpose in allowing such a devastating event. If God’s plans were indeed to prosper me, to offer hope and a future, why had He not prevented the accident? This question became a heavy burden.
“Had I committed some grave sin to warrant such severe punishment? Why was I left to endure this suffering? Wouldn’t death have been a preferable outcome on that day? Why me?” These questions plunged me into despair. At my lowest point, suicide seemed like a conceivable escape. The internal storms were overwhelming, and giving up felt like a justifiable option.
Discovering the “Why Not Me”
“You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.” (Job 10:12)
Despite my doubt and questioning of God’s plan, His unwavering love remained. Through family, teachers, friends, mentors, and even unexpected acts of kindness from strangers, God’s support, encouragement, and even miracles became evident. Looking back, it’s undeniable that His grace sustained me, providing the strength to carry my cross.
Although my return to secondary school was marked by academic failure, the unwavering support of my teachers and my own persistent effort led to unexpected success in my ‘O’ levels, culminating in a scholarship for polytechnic studies. This unexpected turn was the first glimpse of hope in a long time.
Alternative therapies like acupuncture, swimming, and meditation were introduced into my recovery journey. Combined with rigorous daily exercises, I regained my ability to walk after two years and even completed several long-distance races, including a 10-kilometer run in 2016 – achievements that once seemed impossible.
Despite the ongoing reality that traditional employment and educational paths might be challenging due to my cognitive limitations, I secured a position as a music therapy therapist assistant at a faith-based nursing home. This organization demonstrated incredible faith in my potential, offering unconditional support and a chance to contribute.
This job has profoundly aided both my rehabilitation and professional development. The expansive nursing home environment necessitates constant movement, providing valuable physical therapy for my walking. My gait has noticeably improved, a testament to the daily activity.
I am continually challenged to innovate and enhance my work, contributing ideas to my colleagues. Daily interactions with residents have significantly improved my interpersonal and rapport-building skills. Managing diverse responsibilities like session preparation, execution, and cleanup has honed my time management abilities. Beyond these tangible professional gains, I began to discern a glimpse of God’s purpose in my suffering.
Embracing God’s Redemptive Purpose: From “Why Me?” to “Why Not Me?”
In my daily work, I encounter individuals at life’s twilight, those who have gradually or suddenly lost control and depend on others for their basic needs. They mirror my past helplessness, offering a poignant reflection of my own journey.
Through the therapeutic power of music, I bring comfort and joy to those I deeply understand. While my suffering is not comparable to theirs in many ways, the Lord has uniquely equipped me with a history of hopelessness, helplessness, hurt, and loss. This shared experience fosters a profound empathy for the nursing home residents.
This empathy translates into greater patience and sensitivity during engagement sessions, fueling my commitment to connect even with unresponsive or challenging residents. Awareness of the isolation inherent in institutionalized care motivates me to visit residents daily, even outside scheduled sessions.
This dedication demands significant energy and often leads to fatigue, yet I leave work each day with a deep sense of fulfillment. God’s love is undeniable, and my unique experiences have amplified the meaning and joy I find in my vocation.
As time progresses, God’s purpose for my life is becoming clearer. He knew the suffering I would endure and provided the necessary grace to survive and ultimately thrive through the TBI. This journey has prepared me for a meaningful vocation. By God’s mercy, my greatest trial is transforming into perhaps the most impactful and positive chapter of my life.
Having experienced the profound truth of God’s promises, I am filled with anticipation for the future. Had I succumbed to despair and given up, I would have missed witnessing His hand in my life and experiencing this fulfilling path with Him. My initial question, “Why me?” has transformed into “Why Not Me?”. This profound shift in perspective was only possible through perseverance through suffering.
God never promised a life devoid of challenges, but as He guided the Israelites through exile, He promises to never forsake us amidst our trials (Isaiah 41:10). Whatever challenges you face, I urge you to persevere. As James 1:4 encourages, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” This vision of completeness in Him is the true source of hope for our future. Amen.
