Growing up, the concept of sexuality was often shrouded in mystery and, frankly, a bit of fear. Like many, my early understanding was filtered through the lens of purity culture: sex was strictly off-limits until marriage. This created a significant internal conflict as my teenage years brought about natural sexual desires. The prevailing message was to suppress these feelings, leaving me with unanswered questions and a sense of shame.
This approach, unfortunately, led to a distorted view of God’s intentions for our desires. Navigating relationships became a confusing cycle of seeking affection while simultaneously fearing going “too far.” Hidden beneath the surface was an addiction to masturbation and a growing tendency to use physical intimacy as an escape from insecurity and anxiety. It wasn’t until my twenties that the realization hit: I was struggling with lust.
This revelation was devastating. The scriptures were clear about sexual immorality, as highlighted in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8:
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.”
The challenge was immense. How could I break free from this cycle? Prayer felt hypocritical, and the more I tried to resist, the stronger the fantasies and dissociation became. Thankfully, God’s grace intervened, leading me to teachers who openly discussed their own battles with lust and how God reshaped their understanding of sexuality through His divine design. Their honesty provided a lifeline, pulling me out of condemnation and onto a path of sanctification, away from the grip of lust.
Defining Lust: More Than Just Sexual Desire
It’s crucial to understand that lust extends beyond just sexual urges. The Oxford English Dictionary defines lust as “a sensual appetite regarded as sinful.” This definition broadens the scope, applying to cravings for money, power, status, and countless other things. But Why Is Lust A Sin in any of these forms?
Phylicia Masonheimer, author and Bible teacher, offers insightful clarity: “A lustful mind is more focused on its desire than on the consequences of that desire. It is irrational, both sensual and insensitive. Lust is focused on satisfying a want that it perceives as a need…. [It] essentially says, ‘I am god of this area of my life.’”
Essentially, lust is a distorted version of desire. Desires themselves are not inherently negative; God created us with them for a purpose. These longings are meant to guide us toward ultimate fulfillment in God, revealing the profound and beautiful mystery of our Creator. However, lust seeks to fulfill these desires independently of God, through alternative means. When we succumb to lust, the desire becomes the ruling force in our lives. We begin to manipulate and objectify others to satisfy our cravings.
The Sinful Nature of Lust: Objectification and Inner Turmoil
The insidious nature of sexual lust lies in its ability to manifest within the confines of our minds. This objectification can occur in secret, unseen by others. Pornography and masturbation exemplify this perfectly. While there may be no immediately apparent physical harm, we are actively using another person’s body for our own gratification. We are degrading another individual, a fellow image-bearer of God, reducing their worth and, consequently, our own to mere body parts.
This is why lust is a sin that God deeply opposes. It not only mocks His creation but also corrupts the sanctity of sex, distorting its purpose from a selfless expression of love to a pursuit of personal pleasure. It fundamentally misrepresents God’s design for intimacy and relationships.
Reframing Our Desires: A Spiritual Battle
So, how do we overcome lust? My initial attempts to suppress impure thoughts and actions through sheer willpower were futile. No matter how hard I tried, the desires always seemed stronger. I was fighting a losing battle against myself because lust is fundamentally a spiritual problem requiring a spiritual solution.
The key lies in allowing God to reshape our desires rather than attempting to extinguish them. Dr. Christopher West, through his extensive work with the Theology of the Body Institute, eloquently addresses this:
“There’s another way to experience our sexual desires,” he explains. “Most people think…that we only have two choices with our sexual desires: indulge them or repress them…. [But] indulge and repress are not the only two options. Christ came into the world not to condemn those with disordered sexual desires, but to restore the original order of sexual desires.”
When our desires are redeemed, we begin to see Jesus at the center of them. We recognize our desires as gifts pointing us to the infinite, as we pursue purity and holiness in partnership with God’s grace. God is faithful to renew us through the Holy Spirit (Ezekiel 36:25-27). Our part is to engage in this transformative process.
Practical Steps to Break Free from Lust
This journey to freedom involves taking proactive steps:
- Guard your environment: Minimize exposure to media, books, and situations that trigger lustful thoughts.
- Pray honestly: Be open and vulnerable with God about the struggles within your heart.
- Study God’s Word: Learn the truth about your desires and God’s intended purpose for them.
- Seek accountability: Avoid isolation by sharing your struggles with a trusted counselor or mature Christian friend.
By taking these steps and surrendering to God’s leading, you can embark on your personal journey toward freedom from lust.
Conclusion: Embracing God’s Grace and Transformation
Understanding why lust is a sin is the first step towards breaking free from its grip. It is a distortion of God-given desires, leading to objectification, inner turmoil, and a misrepresentation of God’s design for love and intimacy. However, overcoming lust is not about self-condemnation or futile willpower. It’s about spiritual transformation, allowing God to reframe our desires and lead us toward purity and holiness.
Embrace the process, take practical steps, and rely on God’s grace. He is faithful to equip you for this journey.
“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21
If you are struggling with an addiction related to lust, please know that you are not alone. Help is available, and we encourage you to click here to connect with resources and support.
Further Reading and Media:
Blog: What God Says About Sex by Makayla Czeder
Book: Christian Cosmo: The Sex Talk You Never Had by Phylicia Masonheimer
Free Email Course: Lust-Free Living by Phylicia Masonheimer
Blog Post: Hope for the Not-So-Good Girl by Phylicia Masonheimer
Book: Theology of the Body for Beginners by Dr. Christopher West
YouTube: The Death of Porn | The Link feat. Ray Ortlund
YouTube: Why God Gave Us Bodies | Theology of the Body Institute
YouTube: This is Where You Draw the Line for LUST | Theology of the Body Institute
[1] Masonheimer, P. (2021). Christian Cosmo: The Sex Talk You Never Had (2nd ed., p. 31). Phylicia Masonheimer.
[2] Theology of the Body Institute. (2023, January 30). Indulge or repress #shorts [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsP9Mvetc48
