The internet is buzzing with a new term: “demure.” From viral TikToks to mentions in mainstream media, suddenly everyone is talking about being “very demure, very mindful.” But what does it truly mean, and why is this concept capturing so much attention right now? For Ms. Darryl Demure, a trans woman and activist who has embodied this persona for decades, the trend is more than just a fleeting internet fad—it’s a reflection of deeper societal needs and a powerful expression of strength.
Ms. Darryl Demure in an elegant pose
Who is Ms. Darryl Demure? The Original Embodiment of Demure
Before “demure” became a trending hashtag, there was Ms. Darryl Demure. Emerging onto the scene in 1998, Ms. Demure isn’t just jumping on a bandwagon; she is the embodiment of the very essence now going viral. At 32, Darryl Demure crafted this drag persona, drawing inspiration from her vision of a “demure kind of girl.” In a world often dominated by the “diva” archetype, Ms. Demure carved out a space for timeless grace and quiet strength. “I prefer my Demure label — to me, it’s timeless and strong,” she asserts, highlighting the enduring nature of this quality.
The Viral Spark: Jools Lebron and “Very Demure, Very Mindful”
The current surge in “demure” popularity can be attributed to Jools Lebron, whose “very demure, very mindful” video sparked a widespread online conversation. Ms. Demure expresses gratitude for Lebron, acknowledging that the trend is “helping the masses expand their vocabulary.” This viral moment is introducing a new generation to a concept that Ms. Demure has long championed. It’s not just about adopting a new word; it’s about embracing a set of values and behaviors associated with it.
Demure Strength: More Than Just a Trend, A Powerful Stance
For Ms. Demure, “being ‘very demure, very mindful’ is truly an old-fashioned recipe of just kindness, respect, and class.” It’s a return to fundamental virtues in a world that often feels increasingly chaotic and abrasive. This isn’t about weakness or being passive; it’s about a different kind of power. As Ms. Demure articulates, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Demureness, in this context, becomes a strategic strength, a way to navigate the world with grace and impact.
Moreover, for Ms. Demure, as a trans woman, the trending of “demure” carries deeper significance. She sees it as “America is learning another lane of femininity while giving this trans woman a space to create a world for herself.” In a time where trans rights and women’s rights are constantly debated and challenged, embracing “demure” can be seen as a reclaiming of space and a redefining of femininity on one’s own terms. She connects this personal expression to broader political urgency, stating, “My sisters’ survival is at a tipping point. It’s now or never — reproductive rights, trans rights, voting rights. It’s all under the umbrella of human rights.” Demureness, therefore, isn’t just an aesthetic; it’s intertwined with the fight for fundamental rights and recognition.
Inspiration from Icons: The Demure Energy of Television
Ms. Demure’s understanding of demureness is deeply rooted in the strong female characters she admired growing up on television. She cites lead actresses from shows like “Bewitched,” “Good Times,” “Wonder Woman,” “Julia,” “Mary Tyler Moore,” and “The Jeffersons” as inspirations. “They all had a strength and softness about them that formed what kind of woman I wanted to portray in my drag,” she explains. These characters embodied a blend of gentleness and resilience, showcasing that demureness and strength are not mutually exclusive. Wonder Woman, with her “angelic energy,” perfectly exemplifies this combination, proving that “strength and softness complement each other.”
This “demure energy” is what Ms. Demure has brought to her own platform, “Harper’s Bazzaroworld Presents The Ms. Demure Show,” Dayton’s long-running LGBTQ+ public access variety talk show. For nearly 25 years, she has cultivated an “approachable temperament,” serving green tea and Fig Newtons to guests and embodying kindness in everyday interactions. “Being Demure has come very easy to me from serving guests on my show green tea and Fig Newtons to helping older ladies crossing the street,” she shares. It’s about creating welcoming spaces and leading by example, demonstrating that demureness is an active and impactful way of being in the world.
In conclusion, the trending of “demure” is more than just a viral moment; it’s a cultural signal. It reflects a yearning for kindness, respect, and a different kind of strength in a world that often feels overwhelming. For Ms. Darryl Demure, it’s a validation of a life lived embodying these values and a powerful opportunity to connect personal expression with broader social and political movements. The resurgence of “demure” reminds us that sometimes, the quietest forms of strength can be the most impactful.
