Most people are aware of cutting, which involves using sharp objects like razor blades, knives, or scissors to make marks, cuts, or scratches on their body. However, cutting is just one form of self-injury. Self-harm can take many forms, including burning, scratching, hitting oneself, banging the head, hair-pulling, skin-pinching, piercing the skin with needles or sharp objects, or inserting objects under the skin.
Self-harm behaviors, including cutting, often begin during the teenage years, but can continue into adulthood for some individuals.
Unpacking the Reasons: Why Do People Cut Themselves?
It can be challenging for someone who doesn’t self-harm to understand why others intentionally inflict pain upon themselves. However, self-harm is often a coping mechanism employed by individuals struggling to manage intense emotions, overwhelming pressure, or distressing relationship issues. They may be grappling with feelings that feel unbearable or facing situations they believe are impossible to change.
For some, self-harm is driven by a desperate need to find relief from overwhelming negative feelings. They may lack healthier coping strategies to alleviate emotional pain or pressure. In other instances, self-harm serves as an expression of powerful emotions such as rage, sorrow, rejection, desperation, longing, or a profound sense of emptiness.
It’s crucial to understand that there are healthier ways to navigate difficulties, even significant problems and intense emotional pain. Seeking support from a mental health professional can be invaluable when dealing with major life challenges or overwhelming emotions. For other tough situations or strong emotions, talking things through with parents, trusted adults, or friends can offer perspective and emotional balance. Engaging in regular exercise is also a beneficial way to manage emotions and gain perspective on problems.
However, individuals who self-harm may not have developed these healthy coping mechanisms, or their existing skills might be overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions. When emotions are not expressed in a healthy manner, tension can accumulate, sometimes becoming almost unbearable. Cutting or other forms of self-injury can be an attempt to release this extreme tension. For some, it can create a false sense of control in a situation where they feel powerless.
The urge to cut is often triggered by strong, unexpressed feelings, such as anger, hurt, shame, frustration, or alienation. People who self-harm sometimes express feelings of not fitting in or being misunderstood. Self-harm may also be a response to experiencing a significant loss or as an escape from a feeling of emptiness. It can feel like the only way to find relief or express personal pain related to relationships or rejection.
It’s important to note that individuals who cut or self-injure sometimes have co-occurring mental health conditions that contribute to their emotional distress. Cutting is sometimes, but not always, associated with conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or other mental health issues that affect impulse control or risk-taking behaviors. Substance abuse can also be a factor in some cases of self-harm.
Often, cutting and other forms of self-harm begin impulsively, without premeditation. Some individuals who self-harm have experienced trauma, such as abuse, violence, or disasters. In these cases, self-injury may be an attempt to “wake up” from emotional numbness following trauma. Alternatively, it could be a way to re-experience the pain they endured, express anger about it, or regain a sense of control over the traumatic experience.
Understanding the Risks and Consequences of Self-Harm
While self-harm might provide temporary relief from intense emotional distress, most individuals who engage in it recognize that it is not a healthy or effective long-term solution. The relief experienced is often fleeting, and the underlying issues that trigger the self-harm remain unaddressed, merely masked temporarily.
People who self-harm typically do not intend to cause permanent harm. They also usually don’t plan for self-harm to become an ongoing behavior. However, both unintended harm and the continuation of self-harm are possible outcomes. It’s easy to misjudge the depth of a cut, potentially leading to severe injuries requiring stitches or even hospitalization in extreme cases. Infections are also a significant risk, especially if non-sterile or dirty instruments like razors, scissors, pins, or even sharp can tabs are used.
It’s crucial to distinguish self-harm from suicide attempts. The majority of people who self-injure are not trying to end their lives. Instead, self-harm is usually an attempt to cope with overwhelming feelings, not to commit suicide. While some individuals who self-harm may also attempt suicide, this is generally related to the underlying emotional pain and mental health challenges that drive the self-harm, rather than the self-harm behavior itself.
Self-harm can become habit-forming and develop into a compulsive behavior. This means that the more someone engages in self-harm, the stronger the urge to continue becomes. The brain can start associating self-injury with the temporary, albeit false, sense of relief from negative emotions, leading to cravings for this relief when tension builds again. When self-harm becomes compulsive, stopping can feel incredibly difficult, akin to an addiction where the urge seems irresistible. A behavior initially intended to regain control can ultimately become controlling itself.
Getting Help and Finding Healthier Coping Strategies
There are more effective and healthier ways to deal with life’s challenges than resorting to cutting or other forms of self-harm. These healthier strategies offer long-lasting relief without leaving emotional and physical scars. The most important first step is to seek help for the underlying issues that are driving the self-harm behavior. Here are actionable steps to take:
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Tell someone you trust. Many individuals who have successfully stopped self-harming report that the initial step – admitting and talking about it – is the most challenging. However, they also emphasize the immense relief that comes with opening up. Choose a person you trust to confide in initially, such as a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, doctor, or nurse. If verbalizing it feels too difficult, consider writing a note.
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Identify the triggers. Cutting and self-harm are reactions to emotional tension or pain. Try to pinpoint the specific feelings or situations that prompt the behavior. Is it anger, pressure to be perfect, relationship problems, a painful loss, trauma, or mistreatment? Identifying the root cause is crucial, and sharing this with someone you trust is essential. A mental health professional can be particularly helpful in this process, as identifying triggers can be difficult to do alone.
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Actively ask for help. Clearly communicate that you need help to address both the underlying troubles and the self-harm behavior itself. If the first person you reach out to is unable to provide the necessary support, don’t hesitate to ask someone else. Sometimes, adults may unintentionally minimize the challenges teenagers face or dismiss them as phases. If you feel your concerns are being downplayed, seek out another adult, such as a school counselor or nurse, who can advocate for you and connect you with appropriate resources.
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Commit to working through it. Overcoming deep emotional pain and self-harm often requires working with a counselor or mental health professional. Therapy provides a safe space to process intense emotions, heal from past hurts, and develop healthier coping mechanisms for life’s stresses. To find a therapist or counselor, you can inquire at your doctor’s office, school, or a local mental health clinic in your community.
Recovering from cutting or other forms of self-injury takes time and commitment. However, therapists and counselors are specifically trained to guide individuals through this process, helping them tap into their inner strengths and develop healthy coping strategies. With professional support, individuals can heal and build resilience to navigate life’s challenges in positive and constructive ways.
