For years, PMS was synonymous with a complete shutdown of my sexual desire. During that time of the month, chocolate cravings and carb loading were in full swing, but my husband’s mere presence could trigger intense irritability. Physical intimacy was the last thing on my mind, with sore breasts, bloating, and hormone-induced migraines and constipation making even the slightest touch unbearable.
However, after navigating pregnancies and the hormone rollercoaster of breastfeeding, something unexpected shifted in my cycle. The familiar PMS symptoms would arrive, making the thought of sex utterly repulsive. Then, like clockwork, the day before my period started, an intense wave of horniness would wash over me. It was as if a switch flipped, and suddenly, sex was all I could think about, demanding it right now.
During intercourse at this time, the orgasms were explosive and multiple, as if my body had been storing up all that pent-up sexual energy throughout the PMS week, ready to release it all at once. The next day, menstruation would begin. This monthly pattern became a predictable and, admittedly, enjoyable experience for both my husband and me.
It turns out, I’m not alone in this pre-period libido phenomenon. During a recent conversation with girlfriends about PMS and sex, I discovered several shared similar stories of experiencing a surge in horniness right before their periods.
“I’ve always been really in the mood right before my period starts,” confirms my friend Katie Smith from Vermont. “As a teenager it made me feel a little strange. As an older woman, I love it! There’s nothing like an orgasm to relieve my cramps and irritability.”
My friend Jordan from California also echoed my experience, noting that this pattern emerged as she got older, after having children. “Before my son was born—he’s nine—my sex drive was sort of all over the place, rarely determined by my cycle, except of course for the extra randy period around ovulation,” Jordan explains. “Then, around the time my son turned two, I noticed a funny thing: After the initial four or five days of PMS in which my husband knew that unexpected caresses and sexual overtures would most likely be met by a grumble and a glare, I realized that I had a fierce urge to make love to him the day before my period arrived.”
Jordan even uses this sudden increase in libido as a predictor for her period’s arrival. Amanda Finch from New York agrees, suggesting that sex itself might even trigger her period to start. “If I have sex on day 27 or 28, when I am very, very horny, I will get my period within 12 hours,” Amanda shares, believing sex “gets things moving down there,” initiating her menstrual flow. I’ve also noticed this correlation: my period sometimes starts within hours after sex, as if the orgasmic contractions are the catalyst.
While scientifically, orgasms don’t directly induce menstruation, exploring the reproductive system reveals insights. According to Our Bodies, Ourselves, a comprehensive guide to women’s health, menstruation is triggered by hormonal shifts. If conception doesn’t occur during ovulation, the corpus luteum, crucial for ovulation and early pregnancy, is reabsorbed, causing hormone levels to drop and initiating menstruation.
Whether or not sex influences the precise timing, the pre-period desire for sex and orgasms is a real experience for many women. My own fascination with the female reproductive system propelled me to seek expert insight into this phenomenon. I consulted Dr. Leah Millheiser, an OB/GYN and assistant professor at Stanford University, to shed light on this intriguing aspect of female sexuality.
Dr. Millheiser starts with a crucial point: “Research has never shown consistent results when it comes to determining how the menstrual cycle affects sex drive.” This highlights the complexity and individual variability of female libido.
However, she acknowledges that pre-period horniness is a common experience for some women and offers potential explanations. “There are biological as well as psychological factors at play here,” Dr. Millheiser explains. “Some women are very ‘in the mood’ right before or even during their periods because of the reduced pregnancy risk. Other women enjoy sex during this time because it helps with their PMS symptoms, like cramping,” she elaborates. The reduced risk of pregnancy can alleviate anxieties and inhibitions, while the pain-relieving effects of endorphins released during sex and orgasm may be particularly appealing when PMS symptoms are present.
Of course, the well-documented increase in libido during ovulation, around week three of a four-week cycle, is largely attributed to the evolutionary drive to procreate during peak fertility. “This may have to do with the fact that they are more fertile during that time,” Dr. Millheiser notes. While ovulation-related horniness is widely recognized, the pre-period libido surge often remains less discussed.
Dr. Millheiser’s insights resonate with my own and my friends’ experiences. Sex as a cramp reliever, coupled with the significantly lower chance of pregnancy right before menstruation, could indeed contribute to heightened sexual desire. Perhaps the combination of PMS discomfort nearing its end and the temporary ‘safe zone’ regarding conception creates a perfect storm for increased libido.
Dr. Connie Liu, an OB/GYN at Gallup Indian Medical Center in New Mexico, offers another perspective rooted in hormonal fluctuations. “A woman’s period is brought about with a downward shift in the hormone progesterone; I think it’s reasonable to think that there are some downstream effects that are related to that, including increased sex drive,” she suggests.
Dr. Liu’s explanation aligns perfectly with my personal experience. The week of PMS symptoms, likely driven by high progesterone levels during the luteal phase of my cycle, is followed by a noticeable hormonal shift just before menstruation, potentially triggering this surge in libido. This hormonal rollercoaster, with its pre-period dip in progesterone, may be a key factor in understanding this phenomenon.
However, both Dr. Millheiser and Dr. Liu emphasize the lack of a universal pattern. “It’s impossible to apply a one-size-fits-all when it comes to sexual interest and the menstrual cycle,” Dr. Millheiser reiterates. Female bodies and hormonal responses are diverse and dynamic, changing throughout life stages, especially as women approach menopause, bringing further hormonal shifts.
Regardless of the precise scientific explanation, the pre-period “fuck-me-now” urge is a valid and real experience for many women. Whether or not the “why” is fully understood, embracing and enjoying this phase of heightened libido is a perfectly healthy and natural response. Exploring and understanding our bodies, including these cyclical shifts in desire, is an empowering aspect of female sexuality.
