The exasperated phrase “This is why we can’t have nice things” is a common lament, especially when something good is ruined, often due to carelessness or misuse. While it feels timeless, its journey to becoming a cultural meme is quite interesting, and comedian Paula Poundstone seems to have played a key role in bringing it to the forefront of popular consciousness.
Paula Poundstone and the Rise to Popularity
Paula Poundstone, known for her observational humor, likely amplified the phrase in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Anecdotal evidence suggests the saying resonated deeply, perhaps because it echoed familiar parental frustrations. As a Des Moines Register quote from August 1989 recounts one of Poundstone’s jokes: “She used to get mad over absolutely everything. I remember the time I knocked a Flintstones glass off the table and she said, ‘That’s why we can’t have nice things.’”. This joke, highlighting a mother’s overreaction to a broken Flintstones glass, perfectly encapsulates the humor and underlying truth of the saying. Further cementing its place in popular culture, Poundstone also reportedly used this line during a Comic Relief appearance in the early 1990s, broadening its reach to a national audience.
Echoes Through Time: Precursors to the Modern Phrase
However, the sentiment behind “This is why we can’t have nice things” isn’t new. It appears to be a modern iteration of a long-standing parental expression. A memoir from the 1950s, Dorothy Allred Solomon’s “In My Father’s House,” published around the time Poundstone started her comedy career, offers a glimpse into this earlier usage. Solomon quotes herself asking her mother, “Why don’t you have nice things like Aunt Marion?” to which her mother replied, “I have little children instead of nice things.” This exchange reveals a gentler, yet still recognizable, form of the sentiment, linking “nice things” with the challenges of raising children and maintaining a presentable home.
Going even further back, a 1905 “Lesson…for Little Children” in The Humanitarian Review illustrates the connection between children’s actions and the inability to preserve “nice things.” In the lesson, a child named Fred breaks a vase, and his mother, instead of punishment, uses it as a teachable moment. She asks, “When you chased the cat and broke my beautiful vase, did I whip you?” leading Fred to recall her sorrow and question, “‘How do folks keep nice things?’” The lesson culminates in Fred resolving, “I never play where nice things are, and don’t break things.” This early example shows that the core idea – that careful behavior is necessary to maintain “nice things” – has been a parental concern for generations, likely dating back to the advent of easily breakable household items.
A Timeless Lament
In conclusion, while Paula Poundstone may have popularized “This is why we can’t have nice things” in recent decades, the underlying sentiment is far from new. It’s a phrase rooted in the age-old struggle to maintain order and beauty in a world, and especially households, prone to disorder and breakage. Whether it’s a comedian’s punchline or a parent’s sigh, the saying resonates because it speaks to a universal experience: the delicate balance between wanting to enjoy “nice things” and the often frustrating reality of keeping them intact.
