Despite being a landmark publication in the realm of domestic violence literature, Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? is notably absent from our recommended reading list at why.edu.vn. This omission is often questioned by our audience, with some querying our oversight and others championing the book’s perceived crucial insights into abuse and abusers.
However, this is not an oversight. Our stance on Why Does He Do That? stems from our belief that, at best, it offers little practical help for those striving to modify harmful behaviors. Contrary to its promising title, the book fundamentally misunderstands the core motivations driving abusive conduct in most individuals. At worst, it can instill confusion, shame, and hopelessness in those seeking to change.
Is “Why Does He Do That?” Misguided?
You might reasonably ask, how can we assert that such a popular book, penned by a counselor with extensive experience with abusive men, is fundamentally flawed? The book’s widespread acclaim itself seems to suggest credibility. How can we claim it “badly misses” the underlying causes of abuse?
The answer lies in rigorous research. We are not basing this critique on isolated opinions, but on the collective findings of numerous social scientists employing meticulous methodologies to investigate this complex issue. This isn’t about a single, potentially biased study; it’s about the consistent conclusions drawn from hundreds of diverse research investigations.
To illustrate our perspective, let’s juxtapose the key arguments presented in Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? with the insights derived from objective, evidence-based research.
Examining “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft
Bancroft’s View on Abusers: Who Are They?
The very title, Why Does He Do That?, unequivocally positions men as perpetrators and women as victims in heterosexual relationships. In his extensive 400-plus page book, Bancroft dedicates a mere two paragraphs to acknowledging the possibility of female-perpetrated abuse against men. When broaching the topic of physical aggression by women, he ambiguously states, “It depends,” before largely dismissing its significance by asserting that men are rarely genuinely affected by female aggression.
Motivation Behind Abuse: According to Lundy Bancroft
Bancroft posits that abuse is a calculated and deliberate choice. He argues that abusive men intentionally engage in harmful behaviors because it serves their self-interests. By mistreating their partners, abusers purportedly gain power and control, enabling them to easily express negative emotions and coerce their partners into fulfilling their demands – be they physical, emotional, or sexual.
According to Why Does He Do That?, abusers harbor feelings of superiority, are inherently self-centered, and display intolerance towards any form of defiance. They are driven by a relentless pursuit of power and social status, seeking to dominate every aspect of their environment through any means necessary. Bancroft further describes them as often charming and cunning, adept at concealing their manipulative and controlling tactics.
He emphasizes that the core issue isn’t abusers’ lack of awareness of the harm they inflict, but rather their disregard for their victims’ well-being and happiness. Why Does He Do That? asserts that these men are comfortable resorting to violence, intimidation, and emotional manipulation to achieve their objectives. Bancroft attributes this behavior to learned patterns from family dynamics, media portrayals, and societal norms that reinforce male dominance.
Prospects for Change: A Dim Outlook in “Why Does He Do That?”
Regarding the potential for rehabilitation, Bancroft expresses pessimism, suggesting that change is infrequent because abusers are unwilling to relinquish their perceived privileges. He argues that their intrinsic motivation to change is low, necessitating powerful external pressures, such as the threat of losing their partner or facing severe legal repercussions. In Why Does He Do That?, Bancroft implies that genuine and lasting change is contingent upon imposing significant consequences, educating abusers according to his defined causes, and directly challenging their deeply ingrained, flawed attitudes.
In the concluding sections of Why Does He Do That?, Bancroft outlines a stringent set of criteria that a man must meet to demonstrate genuine change. These include, among other demands, acknowledging that abuse is a choice, admitting to a sense of entitlement, accepting any consequences imposed by their partner, and forfeiting any right to complain about their treatment.
Book cover of Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft, a popular book on domestic abuse, critically reviewed in this article.
Research-Based Perspectives on Domestic Violence
Fortunately, comprehensive research has been conducted, saving us from individually sifting through vast quantities of studies. A team of researchers undertook a meta-analysis, examining a staggering 12,000 research studies on domestic violence and abuse. Their extensive findings are compiled in a 2,657-page database, including summaries of 1,700 peer-reviewed studies. Transparency is prioritized, with the researchers openly providing access to their source studies for verification.
These research conclusions are accessible on the website of the Association of Domestic Intervention Providers (ADVIP) and were published in the academic journal Partner Abuse. For broader accessibility, the researchers summarized their findings in a report titled The Partner Abuse State of Knowledge Project. Their concise Findings-At-a-Glance report serves as the foundation for our understanding of research-backed insights and underpins all programs at the Ananias Foundation.
Research on Who Abusers Are
Research data indicates that 25.3% of individuals have perpetrated intimate partner violence (IPV) at some point in their lives. Intriguingly, rates of female-perpetrated violence are statistically higher than male-perpetrated violence (28.3% vs. 21.6%) when averaged across multiple studies. Emotional abuse is even more prevalent, with 80% of individuals admitting to engaging in either expressive (e.g., name-calling, belittling) or coercive (controlling) forms. Specifically, 40% of women and 32% of men reported using expressive abuse, while 41% of women and 43% of men reported using coercive abuse.
Within abusive relationships, large-scale population studies reveal that 57.9% of IPV is bi-directional, meaning it is mutual abuse. Of the remaining 42% of uni-directional violence, 13.8% is male violence against women, and a notable 28.3% is female violence against men. These statistics often challenge conventional narratives surrounding domestic violence and may be surprising to many.
Regarding the impact of abuse, research confirms that female abuse victims experience significant adverse effects, including more injuries, mental health challenges, and substance abuse issues compared to non-victimized women. Their self-esteem, professional lives, and social interactions are also negatively impacted. These findings align with general expectations.
Research focusing specifically on male victims is comparatively limited. Existing studies present mixed results, with some indicating comparable negative impacts to those experienced by women, while others do not. While definitive conclusions require further research, it would be inaccurate to suggest that men are unaffected by abuse.
Motivation for Abusive Behavior: Research-Based Insights
Research studies reveal that men and women often perpetrate violence for remarkably similar reasons. The most prominent motivator is retaliation for perceived emotional hurt inflicted by a partner. Other significant factors include stress, jealousy, expressing anger or other difficult emotions, and seeking a partner’s attention.
Childhood experiences also play a crucial role. Individuals with histories of childhood abuse are significantly more likely to perpetrate domestic violence in adulthood. Dysfunctional mother-child relationships during toddler years and strained father-child relationships during school-age years exhibit the strongest correlations with later abusive behavior. These findings suggest that adverse life experiences and emotional trauma, particularly in childhood, can predispose individuals to engage in harmful behaviors within intimate relationships.
Prospects for Change: Research Perspectives
Data examining the effectiveness of perpetrator intervention programs presents a mixed picture. Programs that foster strong therapist-client relationships, characterized by kindness and respect, demonstrate the most promising outcomes. This underscores the importance of relational dynamics in therapeutic interventions.
Furthermore, research offers little evidence to support the superiority of one specific program type over another. This suggests that mandating a particular theoretical or ideological approach to treatment may be unwarranted. The field is still actively evolving in its understanding of optimal intervention strategies.
The role of law enforcement and the criminal justice system in addressing domestic violence is also questioned by research. Meta-analysis indicates that legal sanctions following arrest do not demonstrably reduce recidivism. However, studies consistently reveal that men face disproportionately harsher treatment than women at every stage of the legal process.
Reconciling “Why Does He Do That?” and Research: The Truth
As is evident, Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? and research-based findings often diverge significantly on crucial aspects of domestic violence. How do we discern which perspective is more accurate? The answer lies in the established principles of knowledge acquisition: we rely on sound, validated methodologies to test claims and place our trust in the resulting evidence.
Unpacking the “Why” Behind “Why Does He Do That?”
Personal biases and underlying motivations likely influenced Lundy Bancroft’s objectivity in writing Why Does He Do That? Notably, Bancroft did not conduct formal research for his book. Instead, his conclusions were reportedly drawn from observations of men in his therapy groups at Emerge, a Massachusetts-based batterers intervention program provider.
Emerge holds the distinction of being the first agency in the U.S. to offer such services. While “first in the nation” sounds impressive, it also implies that the program’s foundational ideology developed without the validation of robust research.
Emerge adopted, and continues to employ, the feminist model of domestic violence as its guiding framework. This model aligns with the portrayal of abusers in Why Does He Do That?—men driven by a superiority complex and a desire for power and control.
Consequently, it is hardly surprising that Bancroft’s observations at Emerge confirmed the very traits and motivations that his training predisposed him to expect. This phenomenon is known as confirmation bias, a significant pitfall when drawing conclusions from personal experience. Despite encountering evidence that contradicted the feminist model, Bancroft seemingly disregarded his clients’ accounts and defaulted to the prevailing theoretical framework.
For instance, Bancroft acknowledges the common explanations offered by perpetrators for their abusive behavior. They frequently cited lack of understanding, emotional dysregulation, or unresolved trauma and substance abuse issues. However, Bancroft summarily dismissed these explanations as mere attempts to evade responsibility.
Writing to Market: The Audience of “Why Does He Do That?”
It’s also crucial to consider the intended audience of Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft explicitly states that his target audience is female partners of abusive men. It is decidedly not intended as a self-help resource for individuals who have engaged in harmful behavior.
Bancroft’s primary objective is to persuade women to leave abusive relationships. To achieve this, he paints a stark picture of abusers as inherently malicious, self-absorbed narcissists devoid of genuine love or care. Presenting abusers as deeply flawed and unlikely to change effectively removes any impetus for women to remain in these relationships. Conversely, portraying abusers as wounded individuals acting out of past trauma might evoke empathy and foster hope for change, potentially undermining the goal of encouraging separation.
As an author myself, I’ve gained insights into the dynamics of book success. One effective strategy is “writing to market”—creating content that caters to a known audience’s desires. If vampire novels are popular, write a vampire novel.
Similarly, domestic violence advocates have long grappled with the challenge of why many abused women remain in harmful relationships. Furthermore, the feminist model of abuse is widely embraced by domestic violence organizations. Framing domestic violence as a battle against a villainous oppressor serves to mobilize members and bolster fundraising efforts.
Whether through marketing acumen or serendipity, Why Does He Do That? provided these advocates and organizations with a seemingly authoritative tool to reinforce their preferred message. This approach effectively secures endorsements and perpetual recommendations from influential figures within the field. Prioritizing market resonance over factual accuracy can prove strategically advantageous, ensuring book sales and establishing lucrative platforms for speaking engagements, training, and expert witness roles, as has been the case for Lundy Bancroft.
Personal Experience and Divergent Perspectives
While anecdotal, my own experiences offer a contrasting perspective. During my journey to understand my own harmful, abusive behaviors, Bancroft’s characterizations did not resonate with me. I did not intend to be abusive, did not choose to abuse in a calculated way, and had no desire for power or control over my partner.
While charm may not be my defining trait, I genuinely loved my wife and felt profound distress at the realization that I was causing her pain. Consistent with research findings, my actions stemmed from a desire for her to cease behaviors that I perceived as hurtful.
In my seven years of working with men and women who have caused harm in their relationships, I rarely encounter the denial or attitudes described in Why Does He Do That? More often, our clients are remorseful, humble individuals deeply regretting the impact of their actions and motivated to change when provided with a constructive path forward.
As they explore their histories, many clients connect their current behaviors to adverse childhood experiences and past traumas. While they have perpetrated abuse, they often carry their own histories of victimization. The adage “hurt people hurt people” often rings true in their narratives.
The Detrimental Impact of “Why Does He Do That?”
The widespread acceptance of Why Does He Do That? within the domestic violence community is deeply concerning. The confusion, shame, and hopelessness engendered by its pages have inflicted immeasurable and unnecessary harm on countless readers. Only through embracing a more nuanced and truthful understanding of domestic violence, however complex, can we hope to effectively address and ultimately prevent it.
