CN: Bullying, suicide, sexism, slut-shaming, sexual assault, rape
Teenage girlhood, bullying, and sexual assault are complex and often misrepresented. When Netflix announced 13 Reasons Why, there was hope it might offer a genuine reflection of these issues. Having read the book as a teenager, it resonated deeply with my own experiences of bullying and feelings of isolation, similar to Hannah Baker’s. While I didn’t attempt suicide like Hannah, that period left lasting scars. I hoped 13 Reasons Why would be the honest and raw portrayal that many girls needed – a show where socially marginalized girls could see their own experiences mirrored. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
Many critiques of 13 Reasons Why argue that bullying isn’t the sole cause of suicide, or view Hannah’s actions as selfish. While the lack of mental health discussion is a significant flaw, it’s crucial to acknowledge that bullying is indeed a major factor in suicide. However, debating the realism of Hannah’s actions is unproductive. The suicide and tapes are plot devices to explore her world. The real issue lies in how the writers constructed this world and its characters, particularly through the lens of Clay Jensen, which ultimately fails to serve teenage girls and misses crucial opportunities for meaningful conversations about their mental well-being.
Hannah is presented as conventionally attractive, intelligent, and confident. She fits in, wears trendy clothes, flirts with the school jock, and gets invited to parties. She’s essentially a more polished version of the ‘nerds’ from movies like John Tucker Must Die or Mean Girls, whose supposed low social standing is attributed to minor, superficial flaws.
“As an autistic girl who was ‘weird’ in school, watching Hannah navigate adolescence with ease is disheartening.”
It’s not to say girls like Hannah aren’t bullied, especially sexually. But 13 Reasons Why constantly uses language associated with the outcast, the loner, the ‘weirdo’ to describe her. As someone who was genuinely ‘weird’ and ‘different’ in school, and struggled with the unspoken rules of adolescence, watching Hannah effortlessly navigate these social rituals is disheartening. It reinforces the idea that even the most ‘unconventional’ girl portrayed on screen is still far removed from the reality of truly marginalized girls.
13 Reasons Why also perpetuates misogyny by distancing Hannah from conventionally feminine girls, particularly cheerleaders. The narrative consistently disparages cheerleaders. “A cheerleader? I thought you were better than that,” scoffs Sky when Clay is seen with Sheri. Hannah’s disdain is palpable when she reminds Jessica, “and then you became a cheerleader,” as if it were a betrayal. Adding to this, Jessica and Sheri, the main cheerleaders, are Black women, whose bodies are already over-sexualized and often lack agency. This contrast with Hannah’s pale, innocent ‘purity’ is particularly unsettling.
While the show briefly addresses victim-blaming, it’s overshadowed by the repeated message that Hannah’s ‘innocence’ is what makes the events unacceptable. We are meant to be outraged by the upskirt photo and sex rumors spread by Justin Foley because Hannah sweetly narrates that it was just her first kiss. We’re supposed to be appalled by the photo of her kissing Courtney because it was a harmless dare at a sleepover, with the girls depicted innocently in bras, giggling like children.
The focus on Hannah’s ‘Best Ass’ on the list is disturbing because we are led to believe she was untouched. This reinforces the idea that Hannah’s purity is central to the tragedy. But what if she wasn’t ‘pure’? Would we sympathize less if Hannah, like many real girls who experience sexual bullying or assault, had been sexually active, bisexual, or experimented with substances? What if she had been a cheerleader?
This question is partially explored when both Jessica and Hannah are raped by Bryce. However, in stark contrast to Hannah, who controls the narrative even after death, Jessica, the cheerleader (previously shown as sexually assertive and also drunk and high), is unaware of her own rape and spirals, grappling with an unidentifiable trauma. Hannah’s choice not to prevent Jessica’s rape or even inform her, instead using it as collateral damage in her own story, is arguably one of the most reprehensible actions in the show. Yet, it’s never acknowledged as such, further diminishing Jessica’s agency and worth. This disdain for less ‘pure’ girls permeates the show. While criticizing slut-shaming, Clay openly ogles the girl named ‘Best Lips’ in the library, a gesture meant to contrast her with Hannah’s ‘natural wholesomeness.’
This subtle misogyny is almost inevitable, as the show’s storytelling is essentially the male gaze made literal through Clay Jensen. Clay, the ‘nice guy’ who feels entitled to Hannah’s affection but is also judgmental of her choices, becomes our narrator. Even flashbacks of Hannah are filtered through Clay’s perspective. This is evident in a cliché scene where Clay talks about Hannah with Tyler, another ‘nerd’ who also claims to be ‘in love’ with her. Tyler’s line, “other girls pose when you put the camera on them… Hannah was just there,” perfectly encapsulates this male gaze.
While the show touches on overt sexism from jocks, it struggles with more insidious forms – the way seemingly ‘nice’ boys like Clay and Tyler consume girls. 13 Reasons Why becomes a story about consuming girls: their bodies, beauty, narratives, and tragedies. Tyler and Clay’s quiet entitlement to observe and fantasize about Hannah’s body is apparent. Clay’s sense of ownership over Hannah and her story is highlighted by his repeated disregard for her wishes. His ‘revenge’ is directed more at men who showed interest in Hannah than those who committed the worst offenses. Zach, who made a relatively minor mistake but dared to date Hannah, receives disproportionate aggression from Clay. Clay’s reactions to Hannah’s tapes dominate the screen time, overshadowing her own story, and his obsession with her ‘innocence’ and beauty replaces any genuine sense of her personality.
“Hannah’s character is prevented from developing an identity independent of Clay’s perception.”
The ‘manic-pixie-dream-girl’ image that Clay and Tyler project onto Hannah is just another facet of the same sexist coin as the ‘slut’ label. Clay reacts angrily when Hannah deviates from this trope by showing interest in a jock, slut-shaming her. He, like the boys who objectify her as ‘Best Ass In Class’, doesn’t want her to be a complex individual. This possessiveness and romanticization from certain boys towards unconventional girls will resonate with many who have sought solace in quiet, ‘nice’ boys, only to have that connection cruelly withdrawn when they displayed agency. In 13 Reasons Why, this means Hannah’s character is literally prevented from developing a convincing identity outside of Clay’s perception. In reality, it forces vulnerable girls to shrink themselves to fit into the narrow spaces where men will accept them.
However, 13 Reasons Why does get some things right. It emphasizes the lasting trauma of slut-shaming and objectification and links it to sexual assault, a positive and rare portrayal. Despite the problematic bullying dynamics and missed mental health discussions, the show effectively portrays how a series of seemingly small actions can devastate someone’s world. Like many, I remember struggling to articulate the impact of cumulative bullying incidents, where each isolated event seemed minor but the overall effect was crushing. 13 Reasons Why partially untangles the complex social dynamics of teenagers and shows the devastating impact of these cumulative ‘small’ incidents.
The diverse cast, representing various ethnicities, sexualities, and family backgrounds, is organic and avoids harmful stereotypes. Yet, this diversity only highlights the blandness of the central narrative. Hints of richer, underrepresented stories are frustratingly sidelined to focus on Clay’s mundane life. A show focusing on Jessica’s rape and its public revelation, Justin’s background and his relationship with Bryce, or Courtney’s internalized homophobia would have been far more compelling. These glimpses into other characters’ lives hint at a diverse realism that the show barely explores, leaving the audience wanting more.
“Ultimately, 13 Reasons Why becomes a dead girl’s story told through a dull boy’s eyes.”
13 Reasons Why seems designed for accessibility, aiming for viewers unfamiliar with these complex issues. It fails to represent the nuances of reality, creating Hannah Baker as a palatable, constructed figure rather than a real, complex person.
The overwhelming feeling after watching 13 Reasons Why is sadness. Teenage girls’ inner worlds are rarely taken seriously, and this show was presented as a chance to explore those worlds in all their complexity – to give voice to genuinely ‘weird’ or ‘unattractive’ girls, to examine female friendships and sexuality, and to move beyond high school stereotypes. It was an opportunity to portray teenage girls as dynamic, multifaceted, and unapologetically real. Instead, by trying to appeal to a broad audience, 13 Reasons Why succumbs to the very misogyny it attempts to critique. It becomes the story of a dead girl told through the eyes of Clay, a dull boy whose crush reduces her to a pretty blank slate, missing the depth and complexity of Hannah Baker and the crucial issues the show purported to address.
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