It’s a profound question, one that cuts to the very core of our existence. It’s not just a fleeting thought; it’s a question that can linger, especially when life feels directionless or unfulfilling. If you’re lying awake at night, or dragging yourself out of bed each morning, haunted by this question, you’re not alone. The absence of a compelling answer can be heavy, casting a shadow over your days and turning the simple acts of living into chores. That’s why the sound of your alarm feels jarring, your bed offers escape rather than rejuvenation, and your daily routines seem monotonous and draining.
Without a sense of purpose, life can feel like navigating without a compass. Humans inherently crave meaning. Think about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Beyond the basics like food, water, rest, and shelter, we yearn for intimate connections, accomplishments, and ultimately, the feeling of realizing our full potential. It’s not enough to simply exist; we need to understand why we exist. Discovering – or more accurately, creating – your life’s meaning is the key to unlocking a profound and lasting joy. Therefore, asking “Why am I alive?” isn’t just a philosophical exercise; it’s arguably the most vital question you can ask yourself.
Let’s delve into how to answer it.
Unpacking “Who Are You?”
“Who are you, really?” my coach, Tom, asked during one of our sessions.
I’d just stumbled out of bed, the springs of my old mattress groaning in protest, and fired up my laptop for our weekly video call. There I was, slumped in an armchair, still half-asleep, while I pictured Tom probably sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat in some tranquil corner of Bali.
“Uh, I’m Mike,” I mumbled, a bit taken aback by the question. “And I’m a freelance writer.”
“Okay,” Tom responded, his voice calm and probing. “So, did you cease to exist before you became a freelance writer?”
“Well… no. I mean, yes. Wait. Okay, no. I’m Mike, and I’m a father and a husband. And I’m passionate about helping others unlock their potential,” I corrected, trying to sound more coherent.
“Right. So, before you were a father, before you were a husband, before you dedicated yourself to helping others, who were you then?”
“Damn it,” I exclaimed, finally getting the point. “I don’t know! I was still me!”
And in that moment, it clicked.
I am. Period. Full stop. End of story.
You are. Full stop. No need for footnotes or explanations.
Think back to when you were a baby, driven by basic needs and a natural curiosity to explore the world. Even then, you were undeniably you. In many ways, that was your purest form, untouched by external pressures and societal expectations. You hadn’t achieved anything monumental, you had barely begun to experience life! You were a blank canvas brimming with potential. You. Simply. Existed.
Even now, that fundamental truth remains. Forget about fate or destiny for a moment. You exist. You are alive. Your presence here is valid simply because you are here. You are still, in essence, that blank canvas, teeming with unrealized possibilities.
The power to shape your life, to define your purpose, to become exactly who you want to be – that power rests entirely with you.
That’s the empowering part.
The slightly daunting part is that this freedom of choice can feel overwhelming. With infinite possibilities, how do you possibly choose the right purpose for your life?
Let’s explore an exercise that can provide some clarity.
Reignite Your Inner Spark
I’m going to guide you on a journey to rediscover your inner spark, to fan the embers and reignite that fire within you. But first, we must address the negativity that might be clouding your path.
If you’re grappling with the question “Why am I alive?”, it’s likely you’re feeling discouraged. You might be questioning your place in the world, wondering if you’ll ever feel truly fulfilled, or if you’ll ever recapture that zest for life. You might even be trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts, spiraling towards a sense of meaninglessness.
Take a moment. Pause. Breathe deeply. Smile, even if it feels forced at first. Straighten your posture. Splash some cold water on your face if you need a physical reset.
Problem-solving becomes infinitely clearer with a calm and focused mind, rather than when you’re caught in a whirlwind of negative thoughts.
For the duration of this exploration, consciously choose to set aside those negative thoughts. When a discouraging thought creeps in, simply acknowledge it with a mental “No thank you, I’m occupied right now,” and gently redirect your focus back to the exercise ahead.
Unearthing Your Natural Passions
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon and one of the wealthiest individuals globally, wisely stated, “You don’t choose your passions; your passions choose you.”
(Image Source: Facebook post featuring a Jeff Bezos quote on passion)
I believe there’s profound truth in this. We all possess inherent passions, activities that ignite our interest, and pursuits that can completely absorb us.
If you’re thinking, “Easy for you to say, Mike! I have no clue what my passions are,” don’t worry. I’ve been in that very spot myself. But I discovered a powerful exercise that helped me identify my natural, almost innate passions.
Here’s what you need to do to uncover yours. First, create a list of moments in your life when you felt genuinely happy – I’m talking about times when you were profoundly content and filled with joy.
Recall moments when you laughed until you cried. Remember holding your newborn child and being captivated by their tiny smile. Think about the thrill of scoring that winning point, sharing a first kiss with someone special, or even losing yourself in painting a picture, regardless of the outcome.
Allow those feelings of joy to resurface within you now. Think of as many of these moments as you possibly can.
Now, grab a pen and paper (or your preferred digital नोट-taking tool) and write them all down.
Here’s the list I generated when I went through this exercise:
- Witnessing my wife give birth to our daughter, Andie, and experiencing a love that surpassed anything I had imagined.
- Successfully navigating a black diamond ski run on only my second day of snowboarding, surprising myself with my ability.
- Mastering a magic trick in middle school that genuinely amazed my friends.
- Making a flawless cappuccino for a customer during my time working at Gathering Grounds, a local coffee shop.
- Saying “I do” to my incredible wife.
The next crucial step is to identify why these experiences brought you joy. Next to each item on your list, write down the underlying reason for your happiness. Perhaps it was the feeling of mastering a new skill, contributing meaningfully to others, or forging a deep connection with someone. Be honest and specific.
Here’s a condensed version of my analysis. For your own list, you’ll likely find it beneficial to delve into greater detail for each item than I have here.
- Birth of my daughter: Felt a sense of creation and beauty. Experienced profound love and connection.
- Learning to snowboard: Mastered a new skill requiring precision and focus.
- Magic tricks: Mastered a new skill demanding practice and finesse. Brought joy to others.
- Perfecting espresso: Honed a skill requiring detail and mastery. Made others happy.
- Marriage: Experienced deep and meaningful connection with another person.
By this point, you should start to see patterns and common threads emerging. These are what I call your “common denominators” for creating a fulfilling life.
On a fresh piece of paper, list all the reasons you identified for feeling happy and fulfilled in those moments – trust your intuition and gut feelings.
Here’s my list:
I feel happy and fulfilled when I…
- …contribute to others in a meaningful way.
- …learn new skills that require detail and mastery.
- …connect with others on a deep and meaningful level.
- …make other people happy.
Eureka!
Do you see what this reveals?
We’ve just identified the core elements that contribute to your happiness and fulfillment.
And what I’ve discovered is that the specific activity is less important than whether it aligns with these core denominators. As long as an activity taps into these passions, I find myself feeling engaged and joyful.
Whether I’m writing a book, giving a presentation, offering guidance to someone, developing a blog, or even snowboarding with friends – these activities all resonate with me because they engage my natural passions.
However, I’ve found the most profound fulfillment comes from dedicating myself wholeheartedly to a select few of these passions. This focused commitment allows me to make a more significant impact.
As Angela Duckworth eloquently put it, “It soon became clear that doing one thing better and better might be more satisfying than staying an amateur at many different things.”
(Image Source: A quote image from Angela Duckworth’s book “Grit”)
Now, your task is to choose a purpose that effectively encompasses as many of your common denominators as possible.
The beauty is, this purpose can be anything that genuinely resonates with you.
Choosing a Purpose That Ticks Your Boxes
A friend of mine, Jeremy Miller, faced a battle with depression some years ago. He reached a point where he even attempted to end his own life.
It wasn’t until he dedicated himself to helping others discover happiness and joy that he finally began to experience these emotions himself.
Here’s how he articulated it:
The purpose of life is NOT to be happy pic.twitter.com/wAXM49QUWV
— Jeremy Miller 🚀 (@jjeremymiller) October 8, 2019
Another friend, Trevor Mauch, has made his life’s purpose to build businesses that empower people to reclaim time for what truly matters in their lives. His Inc. 5000 company, celebrated for its exceptional culture, is a testament to this purpose in action.
My wife finds immense meaning and purpose in motherhood. Her driving force is to nurture Andie into the best version of herself.
For me, consistent and deep fulfillment arrived when I began dedicating myself to building Get Your Gusto Back, when I committed to it with my whole heart and being.
My mission here is to empower individuals (like you!) to fulfill your own purpose, reach your full potential, and, well… reignite your gusto for life!
The specific purpose you choose is ultimately a personal decision, but choosing is essential. The path to lasting joy lies in wholeheartedly committing to a passion and a purpose.
This doesn’t mean you must abandon other enjoyable activities. It simply means you are making a profound commitment to the primary purpose you’ve chosen for this chapter of your life.
“Why Am I Alive?” – You Decide.
Once you decide on your life’s purpose – whether it’s writing a book, building a business, nurturing a family, or something entirely different – you must commit to it with unwavering dedication, just as you are committed to your children, your partner, your career, or your closest friends.
When setbacks inevitably arise, it doesn’t diminish your commitment. When the book you’re writing demands extensive revisions, when your business faces a challenging month, when your child makes a mistake – your commitment remains steadfast. You are, in essence, married to the purpose you have created.
End of story. No room for doubt.
You have forged your own destiny.
And by committing to it, by reaffirming it each morning, by actively working towards its manifestation every day, this self-created destiny will become a wellspring of profound fulfillment, joy, and happiness.
“Why am I alive?”
Now, you possess the power to answer that question for yourself, with unwavering conviction.
Mike Blankenship
Mike Blankenship is a writer featured in SUCCESS Magazine, AdWeek, and Addicted2Success. His expertise in marketing and personal development has been recognized and quoted in Forbes and Entrepreneur. He is also the founder of Get Your Gusto Back, a platform dedicated to helping people reignite their inner drive and passion.
