As a content creator for why.edu.vn, and drawing upon my experience as a psychotherapist – a profession I’ve dedicated myself to even longer than being a mother – I felt compelled to delve into the controversial Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why. Initially, the premise of the show, adapted from the young adult novel, intrigued me: a teenage girl’s suicide followed by cassette tapes detailing the reasons and individuals she held responsible. However, this intrigue quickly morphed into apprehension. As a mother of two daughters, navigating the complexities of adolescence, confronting this narrative felt daunting. Like many parents, and even therapists, there are subjects that can be unsettling to face directly.
For a time, I avoided engaging with 13 Reasons Why, hoping the unease it provoked would dissipate. Yet, as is often the case with issues that touch upon our vulnerabilities, it resurfaced. This time, it was through my 12-year-old daughter’s insistent requests to watch the Netflix adaptation. The familiar refrains echoed: “Everyone’s watching it,” “I’ll hear spoilers,” and the classic teenage accusation, “You’re overprotective!”
Was I being overprotective? I believe in equipping my daughters with the knowledge to understand the gravity of mental health challenges. My professional life is dedicated to assisting individuals in overcoming these struggles. However, my initial reservations about the show’s premise lingered.
I proposed a compromise to my daughter: we could watch the series together, fostering open and honest dialogue. This suggestion was met with resistance, rooted in her discomfort discussing such sensitive topics with her “therapist mother.” My response was firm: if these conversations were off-limits, so was the show. Case closed, at least for her.
Driven by professional curiosity and parental concern, I decided to watch 13 Reasons Why myself, but this time, viewing it through the lens of a mental health expert, rather than solely as a mother. My viewing confirmed my initial apprehensions. In my professional opinion, 13 Reasons Why is not only disturbing but also deeply irresponsible in its portrayal of teen suicide. To provide clarity, I’ve summarized my concerns into key points:
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Individual Accountability in Mental Health is Undermined. The foundational concept of 13 Reasons Why is inherently troubling. While I acknowledge the author’s intention to highlight the ripple effect of our actions and the potential for seemingly minor incidents to accumulate and cause significant harm, the series misrepresents the path to mental well-being. As a therapist, my focus is on empowering individuals, helping them discover their inner strength and voice. This involves teaching young people to recognize, articulate, and manage their emotions and behaviors. Instead of fostering resilience and self-reliance, 13 Reasons Why promotes a narrative of external blame, mirroring Hannah’s approach of holding others primarily responsible for her internal state and ultimate decision.
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13 Reasons Why Presents a “Suicide Revenge Fantasy”. The narrative arc of 13 Reasons Why inadvertently romanticizes suicide as a means of achieving posthumous validation. Hannah’s death elicits the reactions she seemingly craved in life: remorse, regret, sympathy, and a form of tragic “love” from those around her. However, the critical element often missed, particularly by adolescent viewers, is the irreversible nature of death. Teenagers are still developing a complete understanding of mortality’s permanence, which can lead to a distorted perception of suicide as a viable “solution” if it can yield such outcomes.
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Limited Exploration of Mental Health Support Systems. While 13 Reasons Why touches upon serious mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder experienced by Hannah and other characters, it notably fails to adequately portray available resources and pathways to help. The series misses a crucial opportunity to model constructive coping mechanisms, the importance of seeking help from trusted adults, and the benefits of professional mental health support. Instead, the narrative fixates on suicide as an act of revenge, overshadowing the possibilities of recovery and resilience.
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Female Characters are Depicted as Powerless. Anna Silman’s insightful article in New York Magazine aptly points out the undercurrent of misogyny in 13 Reasons Why. While the series could have served as a powerful commentary on the challenges of teenage girls navigating a patriarchal culture, this message is diluted by the overarching revenge fantasy of Hannah’s suicide. The show could have amplified the narrative by directly addressing the unacceptable behavior of the male characters and initiating a broader conversation about sexual assault and societal change. Instead, the prevalent emotion conveyed is disempowerment rather than outrage and agency.
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The Graphic Suicide Scene is Gratuitous and Irresponsible. While I am a staunch advocate for freedom of expression and against censorship, the depiction of Hannah’s suicide in 13 Reasons Why crosses a critical line. It is, unequivocally, a step-by-step guide on how to end one’s life. The scene’s graphic nature—its bloodiness and explicit detail—is gratuitous and serves no constructive narrative purpose. The book originally depicted an overdose, yet the series opted for razor blades and a visceral portrayal of the act. This change raises serious questions about the intent and impact of such a graphic depiction.
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13 Reasons Why Glamorizes Suicide, Violating Best Practices. The series, in both its book and screen forms, fundamentally contradicts established guidelines for responsible suicide portrayal. ReportingOnSuicide.org offers crucial recommendations for media outlets to ensure safe reporting on suicide, recognizing its public health implications. Research consistently demonstrates that media portrayals of suicide can significantly influence public health outcomes. According to ReportingOnSuicide.org, responsible reporting includes:
- Avoiding sensationalism.
- Not detailing the contents of suicide notes.
- Not describing the suicide method.
- Framing suicide as a public health concern.
- Abstaining from speculation about motives.
- Not quoting law enforcement or first responders on causes.
- Using phrases like “died by suicide” instead of “committed suicide.”
- Avoiding glamorization.
13 Reasons Why disregards virtually all of these critical guidelines. This disregard is not just a matter of creative license; it is a public health risk. Romanticizing suicide in a medium so readily accessible and influential among teenagers is profoundly dangerous and irresponsible.
These reflections are offered from my perspective as a psychotherapist deeply concerned about the mental well-being of young people, rather than solely from a maternal viewpoint. My aim is not to pass judgment on individual viewing choices. Whether or not to allow children to watch 13 Reasons Why is a personal decision for each family. However, if you choose to let your children watch this series, I urge you to do so actively and attentively. Watch it with them. Engage in open, honest conversations. Reassure them of your unwavering support and love, emphasize their inherent strength, and unequivocally communicate that suicide is never a viable solution to life’s challenges.
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Brooke Fox, LCSW, is a co-owner of Fox, Levine and Associates. Learn more about Brooke here.
13 Reasons Why is a Netflix series (rated TV-MA: Mature Audience Only, “specifically designed to be viewed by adults and therefore may be unsuitable for children under 17”) based on the original YA novel of the same name by Jay Asher.
