This narrative has been brewing for a while. I’ve debated whether to publicly discuss my experiences and reasons for leaving the Seventh-day Adventist (SDA) Church, but encounters with old friends often lead to awkward and uncomfortable conversations when they learn I am no longer SDA. My departure was a decision years in the making, rooted in thoughtful consideration. To offer clarity for those interested, I’ve decided to share my perspective on Why I Left The Seventh-day Adventist Church.
My upbringing was within the Seventh-day Adventist faith, primarily through my mother’s influence, while my father identified as an agnostic Jew. In my early years, my mother’s refusal to allow my sister and me to attend synagogue with my Jewish grandparents was a source of deep hurt and conflict within our family. After my parents’ divorce, my father made sure we experienced our Jewish heritage, taking us to Erev Shabbat services with my grandfather every Friday night. My grandparents were foundational members of their congregation, and in retrospect, I regret not being allowed to fully explore and embrace my Jewish heritage earlier. Had it been my choice, I would have celebrated a bat mitzvah, as my grandparents had wished. To bridge this gap, I later enrolled in an adult Jewish culture and religion class at a local Reform synagogue, seeking to learn more about my roots and reclaim what had been missed.
From kindergarten through the 8th grade, my education took place in Seventh-day Adventist schools. I formed meaningful friendships and was fortunate to have some truly caring teachers. However, my inclination to question authority and a tendency to disrupt class with excessive talking often landed me in trouble. (As an adult, I received an ADHD diagnosis, which provided context for my childhood behavioral challenges. Gabor Mate’s book, “Scattered Minds,” was instrumental in understanding ADHD and developing coping strategies.)
During the summers, from ages 7 to 15, Mt. Aetna in Hagerstown, MD, became my annual destination for SDA summer camp. Mt. Aetna was, in my childhood eyes, the most wonderful place on earth. Looking back, I recognize it as a sanctuary, a refuge from the constant discord at home. The memories of those carefree and joyful times are deeply cherished. I am also thankful for the opportunity to work there one summer during college. My cabin was situated beside a stream, and I loved spending time on the bridge, listening to the gentle flow of water and the rustling leaves. It was profoundly peaceful.
Beyond SDA schooling and summer camp, weekly church attendance was a constant throughout my childhood. During my formative adolescent years (12-18), I was fortunate to have an exceptional youth leader. He was the kind of person who genuinely cared, offering non-judgmental support regardless of the teenage challenges we faced. I now recognize him as one of the pivotal adults in my life who showed me unconditional positive regard. When youth leadership at our church became unstable and many kids sought more consistent programs elsewhere, he stepped up, committing to be there, whether for one or fifteen kids. And he remained dedicated for years. I believe he is still teaching there. God bless you, E, if you ever read this! I pray you are richly rewarded for your commitment and kindness.
Through the church youth program, I experienced camping trips, game nights, lock-ins, and other fun activities. I developed a personal relationship with God early in life, a connection fostered within the SDA church environment, certainly not facilitated by my parents. In my family context, religion provided structure and a sense of purpose and value that I was missing. I perceived God as a loving, parental figure.
Transitioning to public high school, after being accepted into a science and technology magnet program, was difficult. Adjusting to the lack of continuity from SDA school, where I spent years with the same 25 classmates, was jarring. Navigating friendships with seven different classes and constantly changing classmates each semester or year felt isolating. High school became a challenging and often lonely period. My unhappiness led me to skip my senior year and graduate early, eager to expedite my path to college. I now understand that the desire to rush through childhood and gain independence is common for those who grew up in religious and/or family trauma.
For college, I chose Andrews University, an SDA institution and another place that became special to me, despite the Michigan winters! For the first time in my life, my living situation was peaceful. Consistent hot meals were available, and forming friendships with fellow SDA students was easy. Andrews University’s campus church, Pioneer Memorial, was led by Pastor Dwight Nelson at the time. His authentic spirituality and genuine care for people were palpable. I had many excellent professors and deans, and the university was actively involved in outreach within the nearby impoverished city of Benton Harbor, hosting various programs for residents. Andrews University undeniably made a positive impact on Benton Harbor, demonstrating faith in action.
However, my first significant conflict with SDA faith arose after returning home from Andrews, filled with enthusiasm from the worship programs, service opportunities, and sense of community. The contrast upon returning home to Maryland, just outside of Washington, DC, was stark. I questioned why similar outreach initiatives couldn’t be implemented to aid impoverished communities in DC, mirroring the work in Benton Harbor. I contacted an SDA church in DC to inquire about existing community outreach programs. Finding none, I felt compelled to initiate one.
A friend from Andrews, living nearby, joined me in partnering with the DC church. We decided to begin by going door-to-door in the surrounding neighborhood, offering to pray with people, inspired by Andrews University Outreach’s approach in Benton Harbor. We announced our initiative at the DC church and my childhood church, inviting members to participate. Enthusiastic about launching a widespread community outreach effort, I prepared information packets for approximately 30 nearby SDA churches, inviting their involvement. The postage for these packets was generously covered by my youth leader from my childhood church – a testament to his continued support.
Despite our efforts and preparations, none of the 30 contacted churches responded to our invitations. At the host DC church, only one elder, presumably assigned to oversee us, briefly participated in the outreach to local neighbors. From my home church, only my youth leader and eventually my mother volunteered. When we ventured into the neighborhood to offer prayer, many residents expressed that, despite living next to the church for years, we were the first to ever reach out.
While disheartening, the lack of interest in community outreach across local SDA churches wasn’t entirely surprising. The SDA denomination in the United States is facing decline, and engaging with new people is essential for growth. In my experience, many SDA church attendees seemed to be consumers, present for community or obligation, rather than contributors.
I understand there are around 90 SDA churches within 30 miles of the world headquarters in Silver Spring, MD, yet I found no coordinated community outreach effort. Why? The DC area faces significant challenges, including high crime rates and widespread suffering. I believe a core issue is a lack of emphasis on evangelism within many Seventh-day Adventist circles, despite evangelism being a central tenet of Christianity, especially for a denomination emphasizing the salvational importance of doctrines like the 7th-day Sabbath. The disconnect between doctrine and action contributes to the high rate of young people leaving the church.
Returning to Andrews University that fall, I resumed my positive experiences and moved on from the DC outreach attempt. The following summer, I chose to work at Mt. Aetna Camp instead of returning home. After graduating from Andrews, I relocated to Virginia to be closer to my boyfriend (now husband), rather than returning to Maryland. In our new city, only one SDA church existed. We visited, hoping to find community involvement like in college. However, there were no outreach or young adult programs. The congregation was older, and members frequently slept during services. Attending church began to feel like merely “swiping my SDA card.” I gradually stopped attending, feeling guilty for my absence yet more frustrated when I did go.
It’s important to understand the strong cultural aspect of the SDA community. Doctrinal beliefs are a point of pride and often take precedence. In high school, I participated in Bible work, using Amazing Facts study guides focused on SDA interpretations of end-time prophecy, attempting to convert other Christians to Adventism. Looking back, I’m embarrassed by this approach. The SDA church often teaches that salvation is exclusive to SDA Christians (those adhering to SDA doctrines), a belief contributing to perceptions of the church as cult-like, similar to Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses. I always struggled with the idea that salvation was limited to SDAs or even Christians. My Jewish grandfather, a victim of violent anti-Semitism growing up in Salem, Massachusetts, could never be condemned to hell for not embracing the religion of his abusers.
Conservative values are prevalent in most SDA churches I’ve attended. Jewelry, sometimes makeup, and tattoos and piercings are often viewed as salvation issues – with teachings implying damnation for such choices. Many SDA pastors even abstain from wearing wedding rings, considering them vain or materialistic. However, expensive clothing, cars, or houses often seem less scrutinized. The lines of judgment often appear arbitrary. In many SDA churches, women are encouraged to wear skirts or dresses, and musical preferences can range from organ and piano only to acoustic guitars, with electric instruments and drums often discouraged. More liberal congregations with full praise bands are less common in my experience.
The Sabbath, the 7th day Sabbath, is a defining practice of Seventh-day Adventists. Sabbath observance varies among families. Some avoid patronizing businesses on Sabbath to respect others’ rest, while others are less strict. A family I knew growing up prohibited playground use on Sabbath for their children. Swimming in man-made pools was forbidden on Sabbath, but ocean swimming was acceptable because it was “natural.” Numerous peculiar rules and practices exist within the denomination.
Despite no longer being SDA, I still value the Sabbath as a day of rest, perhaps influenced by my Jewish heritage. I appreciate the break from work and often use it as dedicated family time, spending time outdoors and relaxing. Longevity studies suggest Sabbath-keepers live longer – everyone benefits from rest. I enjoy the Sabbath, but like anything meant for enjoyment, rigid religious rules can diminish its value.
My experience at Andrews University contrasted sharply with my everyday life. Young people often seem undervalued in SDA environments outside of school. Conservative, older members create strict, insular environments that alienate younger generations. Reports suggest around 70% of American SDA young adults leave the church. Significant changes are necessary for the denomination’s future in the US.
To continue my story, I felt a void without regular church attendance. I still desired community and volunteer opportunities. Hearing about a local non-denominational church, my boyfriend and I decided to visit – my first time seeking a church outside of the Adventist tradition. Leaving a potentially “cultish” religion made me nervous – fear of leaving can be a red flag. This church met in a high school, dress was casual, and the pastor preached in jeans to ensure newcomers felt comfortable regardless of attire. The greeter had visible tattoos. It was unlike any church I’d known. A full band led praise and worship, and the first message we heard focused on generosity.
The pastor preached about honoring God with finances, and ushers distributed envelopes containing cash – $10 to $1,000 – to everyone. He explained he wanted to demonstrate the blessing of generosity, challenging us to use the money to bless others in the community and share our experiences on a church blog. This was revolutionary.
SDA churches are organized into conferences, divisions, and a world headquarters. Tithe money goes to conferences, while offerings stay local. The SDA world church supports worthy causes like disaster relief, hospitals, and schools. Whether this system is better is subjective. I prefer the autonomy of independent, non-denominational churches that can direct funds locally, with strong accountability. SDA churches often struggle financially, sending most funds to conferences, frequently posting budget deficits in bulletins. Budget surpluses seem rare.
This non-denominational church used its monthly offering to empower the congregation to give back. This generosity made such an impact that the local newspaper covered it. We attended semi-regularly but felt uneasy. My mother strongly disapproved of my “leaving the SDA church,” warning of hellfire for abandoning Adventism. My engagement occurred during this time, and we didn’t speak for six months due to this conflict. Wedding planning was largely solitary and hurtful.
Shortly after marrying, we moved closer to DC. While waiting to close on our house, we stayed with family in Maryland and reconnected with SDA schoolmates who invited us to their church. We enjoyed it. The church was welcoming, non-judgmental, and actively engaged in community events – everything we’d hoped for in an SDA church. We commuted an hour each way for a year, until the drive became too much, especially with summer traffic extending commutes to three hours. We made kind friends and volunteered actively, but reluctantly sought a closer church. We visited the nearest SDA church.
Our experiences with the non-denominational church and the vibrant SDA church highlighted two key qualities: outward focus and welcoming atmosphere. The closest SDA church lacked these. Outreach opportunities were minimal. At a potluck lunch, a member remarked that while sermons were boring, the people were friendly. Pastoral ministry is challenging, but inspiring messages are distinct from recycled sermons. At our local SDA church, we heard the same sermon twice within a year.
(Me hearing the same sermon again before pulling a sneak out move.)
We tried one more SDA church, 40 minutes away, finding inspiring sermons and a friendly atmosphere. Outreach and young adult programs were absent, but we liked the pastor and tried to make it work. Despite filling out connection cards for service opportunities, we received no response and approached the pastor. He connected us with a couple relaunching the church potluck. We volunteered, but desired more community and proposed a young adult group.
To shorten this long story, despite our commitment to the potluck, no one else volunteered. We, along with the leading couple, couldn’t manage lunch for 70+ people alone. Instead of helping, previous volunteers would “correct” our arrangements – table settings, napkins, dishes – without offering assistance. It was almost comical. The young adult group garnered no interest, leading to cancellation. Discouraged by service limitations, lack of outreach, and community for our age group, a final event solidified our decision to leave after eight months at that church. The last sermon series, a four-week analysis of the “chiastic” structure of the Book of Ruth, felt deeply disconnected from practical faith. While scholarly analysis is valuable, dedicating four main church services to poetic structure felt inaccessible to newcomers seeking spiritual guidance. We questioned how anyone new to church could find value in such sermons. The answer was no.
We had tried to remain within the SDA church out of familiarity and religious guilt, not initially confronting doctrinal issues. Leaving, after being warned of damnation, was a significant decision. Time away from the religion has illuminated numerous doctrinal concerns that affirmed our departure. Ultimately, we seek a spiritual community that actively improves the world. Leaving that SDA church, we visited another non-denominational church nearby, similar to our first experience. This one even had a Saturday service, allowing Sabbath worship. We enjoyed it and learned the pastors were friends with the pastor from our first non-denominational church. We volunteered, joined small groups, and felt a sense of fulfillment.
Outreach opportunities at this new church were abundant: backpack drives, food bank support, mobile meal packing events with Feed My Starving Children (FMSC). We joined a team raising funds for a well in Uganda. The church offered a Celebrate Recovery program for addiction – resources for real-life struggles, a concept new to me within church settings. The church was experiencing rapid growth, driven by its active engagement and relevant ministries. This was the community we wanted to join, one focused on positive impact.
We recently moved to Texas, seeking warmer weather and distance from family. Leaving our Virginia church was difficult. Out of curiosity, we tried a local SDA church. This time, we felt like outsiders. People were kind, but it was a traditional SDA church as described earlier. Had Pioneer Memorial Church (Andrews University campus church) been local, I might never have considered leaving the SDA denomination. Significant reasons are often necessary to question and leave a deeply ingrained belief system.
I still appreciate Pastor Dwight Nelson’s ministry. Visiting Andrews in April, I was encouraged to hear him preach about current campus issues regarding LGBTQ+ students feeling unwelcome. His message emphasized that only those without “sin” should cast stones, urging Christians to focus on personal growth and love, not judgment. Authentic Christianity, as the Bible states, is recognized by love, not doctrine, judgment, or shaming. Without love, there is no genuine spiritual experience. Thank you for reading my journey of why I left the Seventh-day Adventist Church.
Update: Following the overwhelming support of Trump by white Evangelical Christians, I no longer feel aligned with organized Christianity. If those are “Christian values,” it’s not for me. I now find a spiritual home in my local Unitarian Universalist congregation, whose values and beliefs resonate with me while providing a supportive community.
On my spiritual journey, “Journey of Souls” by Dr. Michael Newton provided answers to my questions about life, death, and spirituality, offering peace. For those healing from religious or family trauma, I recommend “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” by Pete Walker. Despite SDA church discouragement of psychology, healing resources exist. If you haven’t been told before, healing and freedom are possible. We deserve to be loved for who we are, not for actions to prove worth or religious affiliation.
