13 Reasons Why: An Irresponsible and Disturbing Series – A Psychotherapist’s Perspective

As a mother and a psychotherapist, with more years spent in therapy practice than in motherhood, the book 13 Reasons Why initially piqued my interest. The premise – a teenager’s suicide followed by a posthumous record detailing the influences behind her decision – was something I felt compelled to understand. However, if I’m being truly honest, “intrigued” wasn’t the only feeling. I was also apprehensive, even scared. As a parent to two daughters, then aged 12 and 16, confronting this narrative felt daunting. I set the book aside, acknowledging even therapists have their limits.

For a couple of years, I avoided the book and its unsettling premise. But, as is often the case with things that trigger our fears and vulnerabilities, it resurfaced. This time, it was a Netflix series, and my 12-year-old daughter was insistent on watching it. The familiar refrains began: “Everyone’s watching it,” “They’ll spoil the ending!” (already revealed, technically!), and the classic, “You’re being overprotective…”

Was I being overprotective? I don’t want to shield my daughters from the harsh realities of mental illness, especially given my profession is dedicated to helping people navigate these challenges. Yet, the premise of 13 Reasons Why still made me uneasy.

I proposed a compromise: we would watch the series together, engaging in open and honest discussions. This idea was quickly dismissed by my daughter, who cited discomfort in discussing such sensitive topics with her therapist mother. My response was firm: if she couldn’t talk about it, she couldn’t watch it. Case closed, at least for her.

Driven by professional curiosity, I decided to watch the series myself, but this time solely as a mental health expert, setting aside my parental anxieties. What I discovered was that 13 Reasons Why is not only disturbing but also deeply irresponsible. To simplify my assessment, I’ve outlined my key concerns in the points below.

1. Individual Responsibility for Mental Health is Undermined

The foundational concept of 13 Reasons Why is deeply troubling. While I recognize the author’s intention to highlight the ripple effect of our actions and how seemingly small transgressions can accumulate and lead to significant consequences, I concur with this notion. However, from a mental health perspective, my primary focus is empowering individuals and helping them find their voice and agency. This is crucial work I undertake with people of all ages, including teenagers. We must instill in children the importance of acknowledging and articulating their emotions and taking ownership of their actions. Teaching resilience and inner strength is paramount, rather than fostering a mindset of external blame, as Hannah’s narrative unfortunately promotes by holding others accountable for her internal state and ultimate decision.

2. The Series Peddles a “Suicide Revenge Fantasy”

A highly problematic aspect of Thirteen Reasons Why is its inadvertent portrayal of suicide as a tool for revenge. In death, Hannah seemingly achieves everything she longed for in life: sympathy, profound regret from others, guilt, and ultimately, a distorted form of “love” or at least intense focus. What the developing teenage brain struggles to grasp is the irreversible nature of death. The concept of death’s finality is not yet fully solidified in adolescent cognitive development. This can lead to a dangerous misinterpretation of suicide as a viable “solution” if it can yield such dramatic results and emotional responses from others, as depicted in the series.

3. Lack of Focus on Mental Health Support and Resources

Depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder are very real and serious conditions that Hannah and other characters in 13 Reasons Why grapple with. However, a significant missed opportunity within the series is the absence of meaningful exploration of available mental health resources and support systems. Instead of showcasing healthy coping mechanisms, or pathways to seek help – whether through confiding in a trusted, attentive adult or accessing appropriate mental health services – the narrative fixates on suicide as a retaliatory act. This glaring omission sends a detrimental message to young viewers who might be facing similar struggles, suggesting isolation and despair as the only recourse rather than highlighting pathways to healing and support.

4. Disempowerment of Female Characters

Anna Silman’s insightful article in New York Magazine brilliantly articulates how Thirteen Reasons Why inadvertently underscores the pervasive culture of misogyny that teenage girls navigate. While the series had the potential to deliver a powerful message about female resilience and empowerment in the face of adversity, this message is unfortunately overshadowed by the central theme of suicide as revenge. Instead of focusing on Hannah’s disempowerment, the series could have directly confronted the reprehensible behavior of the male characters and initiated crucial conversations about sexual assault and effective strategies for societal change. A more constructive approach would have emphasized outrage at injustice and fostered female agency rather than reinforcing feelings of helplessness.

5. The Graphic Suicide Scene: A Dangerous Tutorial

While I am a firm advocate for freedom of expression and against censorship, the graphic depiction of Hannah’s suicide in 13 Reasons Why is unequivocally irresponsible. This scene transcends mere depiction and verges into becoming a step-by-step guide on how to end one’s life. The visual explicitness, the blood, and the prolonged nature of the scene are gratuitous and serve no constructive narrative purpose. The book originally portrayed Hannah’s suicide as a pill overdose. The series’ decision to change the method to razor blades and to graphically portray it begs the question: why? What was gained by altering Hannah’s method of suicide and presenting it in such a disturbingly detailed manner? The answer, unfortunately, appears to be sensationalism at the expense of responsible storytelling.

6. 13 Reasons Why Glorifies Suicide, Violating Best Practices

Both the 13 Reasons Why series and the book directly contradict established best practices for responsible suicide reporting. Organizations like ReportingOnSuicide.org have developed crucial guidelines for media outlets to ensure safe and ethical portrayal of suicide. Research consistently demonstrates that media portrayals of suicide have a tangible impact on public health. According to ReportingOnSuicide.org, responsible reporting dictates:

  • Avoid sensationalizing suicide.
  • Refrain from detailing the contents of suicide notes.
  • Do not describe the method of suicide.
  • Frame suicide as a public health issue.
  • Avoid speculating about the reasons for suicide.
  • Do not quote law enforcement or first responders regarding the causes of suicide.
  • Use phrases like “died by suicide” or “killed him/herself” instead of “committed suicide.”
  • Do not glamorize suicide.

13 Reasons Why flagrantly disregards every single one of these recommendations. This wholesale violation of established guidelines places vulnerable teenagers at significant risk. Romanticizing suicide within a medium that resonates deeply with teenagers is not only dangerous but profoundly irresponsible.

These are my professional insights as a psychotherapist, offered not in judgment but in concern. The decision of whether to allow children to watch 13 Reasons Why is ultimately a personal one for each family. However, if you do choose to let your children watch this series, I strongly urge you to watch it with them. Engage in open dialogue, reassure them of your unwavering support and love, and emphasize unequivocally that suicide is never a viable option.

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Brooke Fox, LCSW, is a co-owner of Fox, Levine and Associates. Learn more about Brooke here.

Thirteen Reasons Why is a Netflix series (rated TV-MA: Mature Audience Only, “specifically designed to be viewed by adults and therefore may be unsuitable for children under 17”) based on the original YA novel of the same name by Jay Asher.

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